you knew us all. our routine.

waking up today sucked.

my heart aches and I've been sucker punched yet again. i feel helpless because I couldn't help you and voiceless because I didn't have a voice.

YOU DIDN'T DESERVE THIS. I NEVER KNEW THE SIGNS. 



WHAT OUR EVERYDAY WILL MISS:

the sound of your nails click-clacking up the hall whenever you heard a fart, cough or sneeze every morning.

you're head hit the door with a thud because it was shut all the way...then you'd whine, flop on the floor and whine some more til someone got up.

you're prickly Eskimo kisses, all up in daddy's face, when he would put his socks and boots on.

you're i-get-the-last-piece-of-the-toast treat,

then 2 scoops of breakfast once daddy left.

and it was back to bed until my phone rang.

how youd bump you're nose on the doorknob 

for your walk to the bus.



our daily routine that I'm going to cherish and wish I had back so bad. I really don't want to share with anyone anymore.



how you're hair stood straight up on your back, from head to toe, when you heard any type of squeak, beep, the mail box opening or a squirrel was in your backyard.



you're prickly Eskimo kisses.



theres so much more to add but I'm so fucked up sunny bear. You were truly one of a kind, more human than animal and I don't care what anybody thinks about me, i loved you so much, DAMMIT YOU WERE MY ONLY FRIEND FOR SO LONG!!!! day in and day out!!! NOBODY will understand the pain and horror of the burden I have to carry for what happened you. it will haunt me for the rest of my life. I had no clue and I'm so so sorry...i miss you so hard.