Doggie (Licky) was the best dog anyone could ever ask for. She was the sweetest, gentlest giant ball of black fur that you could imagine. We had a bond like I have never felt before, animal nor human alike. I will feel a hole in my heart forever.
The day Doggie came into our lives was one that was supposed to be a sad day. It was the one year anniversary of the death of my grandmother, who I was very, very close to. I had been dreading the day for weeks, as I knew it would be a day of tears and a deep sense of loss. Little did I know my life would change for the better.
I believe we had gone to church that day when we pulled up the driveway and into the back. Approaching the back yard I could not believe what I saw; the sweetest, fluffiest ball of fur that you could imagine. Puppyyyyy!!!! I gasped. I jumped out of the car, leaving the door open and raced over to this sweet furball. She was tied to the fence but jumping and trying to lick as if she could reach us. I was in love. But, “ we weren’t going to keep it”. Well, I don’t know if anyone did, but I definitely did NOT try to find a home for “it”. A few days later we were told that we could keep her. Our lives were changed forever.
Doggie and I were a match made in heaven. I’m sure we all felt the same way, but even though she loved everyone and everyone loved her, everyone knew she was MY dog. And I was hers. She slept with me, she played with me, she licked my tears. There were nights alone in the dark, contemplating the value and point of my life. Just when the more sinister thoughts would start to sound even better than normal, she would appear. Smiling and wagging her tail, as if to say “Hey… I love you!”. She would tilt her head in concern upon seeing my tears and come and put her head on my lap, only leaving to lick my face.
When I would leave for trips abroad, I knew that no matter how sad I was about having to leave my newest love affair with a foreign country, that I missed my dog and I couldn’t wait to see her and her happy face when I finally came home. I loved that.
When I moved out, I felt guilt. And everytime I came home I hated to leave her. I never saw it, because I wasn’t there, but apparently everyime I left, the dog would get on the (her) couch by the front window, heave a big sigh and rest her head on her paws and look longingly outside. I felt the same way.
When the time came for me to move back home, I was not too thrilled. I was happy to move back in with my mother and brother, but not to live with my father again. The dog made it better than I thought it would be. She was visibly happy that I was back, especially those first few weeks. I felt so loved.
Our last year together was filled with lots of treats, lots of head rubs, lots of “HEY!!” barks when she needed to go out or was hungry. I loved every minute of it. I loved every minute of our time together. I can’t explain the loss and void that I feel. Because I am not a mother, I cannot say that it is like losing a child, but because of the love that we shared, I feel like it is close to that. For me anyway.
Doggie, I loved you so much and my life will not be complete without you. Even when we get a new dog, which I am sure I will love and it will touch my heart in it’s own way, nobody can or will ever replace you. You were one of a kind, and I kind that I am so happy I got to have in my life for over 12 years. Thank you for being you, and being the best friend that a sad girl could ask for. I love you always, your girl.