I first met Felix when he was being born, his mother was called Freddie, and she was given to my eldest son for his birthday. I looked at this tiny black and white bundle and his flat pink triangle ears. He was 3 months old and a couple I knew wanted a kitten, so i said I have a black and white kitten you can have, I was sad to see him go, they took him, and every day he would come back to me, after the 3rd time we decided that Felix would stop with me. When he was about 6 months old he got poisoned, the only way I could get water down him was with a water pistol, I cuddled and nursed him, wrapped him in a blanket, I did this for a week, and each day he grew stronger, and the close bond was formed.  Felix got bitten by something so another trip to the vet, this time he lost the sight in his left eye, but it never stopped him from doing what cats do. Out of all his siblings, he was very gentle and loving, and as I write this my tears fall, he would jump onto my bed and nuzzle me, he was very talkative for a cat. We also have a dog called Buzz who is now 13, out of all the cats we had it was Felix that he liked.  Felix was always wary of him, the dog would sleep on the landing, and Felix would only come upstairs if the dog was asleep.  When it got very cold in the winter, Felix would sleep on my head ! this is the first time in 19 years the house has been catless ! As I look across from my bed, the top of the blanket box is empty, this is where Felix slept, and on the early hours of monday, this is where, his journey on earth ended. On sunday I took him into the warm sunshine and put him on a cushion on a chair, and thought to myself, this is the last time he will be in the sunshine, I knew that he only had hours left, so spent the afternoon cuddling and kissing him, even when the evening went cold, I put on a coat and Felix in a fleece blanket, and nursed him, letting him know that I loved him and was always going to be there for him my children, the youngest being 19, they all came to say goodbye to Felix, it got to cold, so I went back inside and laid Felix down still in the fleece blanket on the blanket box, as time passed, I kept checking him, he was still deeply asleep, and breathing was not laboured, I looked over and saw his ears twitch, and I knew that it was his spirit leaving, and he was free - he died peacefully, surrounded by the people that loved him and and in his favourite sleeping place.  I went to work on monday and when I came home, I buried him in the garden, near where his Mum and siblings are also, I put in a new cat collar, a few cat biscuits, Felix was still wrapped in his fleece blanket, how do I feel today - bereft, and my dog Buzz is asleep on my bed, with me, I have loved all my cats and all their losses have made me feel the same sense of loss.