My beloved Tigger (a.k.a. Mr. Pants) came into my life when I was only three years old.  From the first time I looked at that scrawny little orange striped kitten with ears that were WAY too big for his body, I fell in love.  Tigger became my cat, my best friend, and on more than one occasion, my lifesaver.  I could not go into a room without my little guy trotting right behind me, and in fact, he usually didn't have to walk at all since he knew his mommy would carry him around so he didn't have to do anything.  Tigger was famous among my friends because they knew that he meant more to me than anything else in the world.  I don't think there was a night in my life that he didn't end up sleeping on my pillow right on top of my head.  Eventually, though, I had to go away to college and I didn't get to see my beloved Mr. Pants every day.  Yet each time I came home from break, he was there and everything was as it should have been.  In my mind he was immortal, and I didn't have to foresight to know that he was getting older and eventually we would be separated.  



That separation came on New Years Eve, 2002.  My mom woke me up unusually early that day with news that I had never thought I would have to deal with: Tigger was having rapid kidney failure and we were taking him to the vet that morning to have him put down.  She carried him into my room and laid him on my pillow because he was too weak to walk, and she left me alone to say my goodbyes.  But how do you say goodbye to your best friend?  I just looked into those big eyes and I could see how much he was hurting.  I wanted to be selfish and keep him here forever, but I couldn't let him suffer anymore.  We took him to the vet and they allowed me to hold him as they administered the injection, so that even in his last moments, he would feel how loved he was.



I never knew pain that intense in my entire life, and I didn't think I would ever be able to go on with my life without seeing my baby boy every day.  But I knew that he was at peace, and I needed to find some kind of happiness in that.  Over time, the pain subsided and it got easier, but I still think of my baby boy and I know he is still here with me, in spirit.



So Tigger, my beloved Mr. Pants, please know that your mommy has never forgotten you, and she will never forget you.  You were my best friend, and no one will ever take your place.  I know that, wherever you are, you are happy and comfortable, and you've probably found someone to carry you around from room to room :) I just know that, someday, I will see you again and when I do, I promise that we'll never be separated again.  I love you, Tigger, and you will always be my baby boy.