I got Baxter at four months old from the Oregon Friends of Shelter Animals in May of 2006. He was a wonderful addition to my household.



Baxter and I went everywhere together. There were always daily trips to the dog park. Often taking walks along the river in the cool evenings. To this day, some of his fur is STILL stuck between the fibers of the seats in my car!



Some of my best memories are with Baxter. He was always there for me when I was sad, needed a friend to talk to, or even to celebrate a good experience with. But most of all, he was ALWAYS there, no matter what.



In January of 2008, I started to notice strange behaviors in him; he was starting to become slightly aggressive. I took him to the vet where they told me he had a chemical imbalance that might be able to be helped with medication. At the time, I could not afford the medication. I was also told that the condition may clear up on its own. I hoped that this would be the case.



Unfortunately, a few months later in April, the situation had gotten a lot worse and Baxter ended up hurting someone very close to me. I then took him back to the vet and had to make a very tough decision. That evening, Baxter was euthanized as I held him in my arms. That was the most awful day in all of my life. It took me 3 1/2 weeks just to be able to pick up his bowls and bed and put them away.



It's been over a year now and I recently have gotten a new puppy. But I still grieve over the loss of Baxter and wonder if it's normal. All I know is that his physical being may be gone, but his memory lives very strong in my heart.



I hope he realized how much I love and miss him. And that it wasn't his fault that I had to do what I did.



I miss you, my boy...I hope that you've forgiven me. I love you.