Beau inspired me to appreciate every day.  To stop and smell the roses, let the sun shine on my face, to appreciate nature, to be non-judgemental of others.  I would wake up each morning and tell him I Loved him.  Kiss his beautiful lips and forehead.  I would sing to him.  Ask him if he liked Mommy's dress.  Yes, I know, seems silly.  I always felt that him hearing my voice was pleasant and comforting for him and I hope he felt the same.  I've never felt the depth of love for another being, human or otherwise.  There was a deep connection, having gone through so many life changes together.  As I promised Beau, we would always be together.  Wherever I would be, he would be by my side.  I would ask him to live to be 15, if he could.  So, his untimely passing left a huge hole in my heart.  After 2.5 weeks since he's been gone, my heart still aches.  I was not here with Beau when he passed.  I left on a Friday night to see my parents in Florida for 2 days (Beau was as healthy as ever when I left) and 2 days later late Sunday evening he was rushed to the vet by his care taker after throwing up blood and within one hour he was gone.  The plane ride from Tampa to Newark was a complete blurr.  Actually, the past few weeks have been a blurr.  I am quite lost without Beau.  We did everything together.  

On a more positive note, Beau inspired me in every way.  He was my motivation, my safe place.  Beau was home for me.  I felt good knowing that he needed me and that I had something to care for.  He would communicate with me with his eyes.  We were spiritually connected.  I pray to God that I will see Beau again some day.  Until then, he continues to fill my heart with joy.  But oh, how I would love to be cuddled up nice and cozy in bed with him.  Every night for 8 years, falling asleep and waking up with him made me feel complete.  He was my family.  I miss you Beau !!!!  I've spent almost every second since you've been gone thinking of you.  Beau's favorite thing to do was swim, which is very uncommon for Bulldogs.  We had a life vest for him and he was in his glory swimming at the dog park or our built in pool.  Swimming was  his passion.  I was looking forward to getting him a smaller pool for the deck for this summer but God had other plans for Beau.  I can't say I'm happy about it because I needed him, he helped me get through, he kept my spirits high.  He was my reason for living.  I guess I will have to accept the fact that he's in Heaven now and I hope and pray that he's swimming, playing and doing all the things he loves to do.  And, that he thinks of me and some day comes to me in a dream to tell me he's ok.  I told him every day , "Beau, I love you more than anything in the whole wide world."  I still do and always will.  He was a kind, sensitive, gentle soul.  I miss him dearly and not a day has gone by with tears.  

I Love you Beau,

Kelly