It's been just over 3 weeks since I sent my precious Dusty to the Bridge and I'm still crying my eyes out. I don't think the emptiness she left will ever go away. I've had many cats in my life but none like her. We were so bonded from the beginning. She was always with me and I really think she cared about me. She had a sense of humor that was wickedly funny. As a kitten she would collect articles of clothing...socks, stockings...whatever she could fit into her little mouth and she would hide them under the bed in the spare bedroom!!  It was so funny to see this little kitten dragging stockings training way behind her and she was on a mission to hide them under the bed. She loved to play fetch especially with the plastic rings from the milk containers. I never saw a cat fetch before that. No one knew how to react to that. She hated to travel but she had been to Florida twice and there were several trips between MA and NJ. What a set of pipes!!!  She was half Siamese and you could really tell when she was angry especially in the car. She was very photogenic. I took photos of her the day I got her and the day I let her go. She was a bad little kitten but grew up to be a sweet cat with a loving and affectionate personality. 3 years ago she got sick and we found out then she was hypo thyriod. I promised her at that time that I would do whatever it took to keep her alive and healthy until she let me know it was time to go. In December I took her to the Vet for her standard blood draw for her thyriod test and she also had a sinus infection so they didn't do the blood draw. She wasn't herself and I requested a blood work up and they didn't want to do that either. By the end of the weekend Dusty had made up her mind it was time to go. She wasn't eating or drinking. I took her back to the Vet...a different one this time in the same office. She felt Dusty had a kidney infection and thought it would be treatable. Dusty was checked into the animal hospital and before I could leave the building I was called back into the examining room. During examination the doctor pressed on her bladder and it burst. Dusty's last chance was over. There was no miracle for her this time. She was in agony and the decision to let go was made. I didn't think I could witness the procedure but I thought about her and stayed to pet her and love her 'til the end. She had such a hard passing. She was in so much pain and screaming. I was crying. The doctor was crying too.  She was sorry she couldn't help Dusty and I was so upset that after 19 years it was time to say goodbye to my best friend and I hated to see her leave in so much pain. After a second shot she began to calm down until she was quiet. Her body still moved and jerked and I'll never forget that. I miss her so much. I arranged for a private cremation for her and I got her ashes back the following week. The little box stays here on my desk.  I am always depressed but I'm in such a deep hole now I may never climb out of it. I hope she'll wait for me at the Bridge.