My Dear Sweet Ellie Belly,



I wasn’t looking for you but you found me. When I went to that ladies apartment that night to adopt another kitty, I didn’t even have my eyes on you. While I was looking in all of the carriers you jumped into my box. That was November of 1992. This was the beginning of a wonderful relationship. 14 years is not enough.



Elvie, my Dad offered to fly us back to NJ with him on 12/26 to have New Years with him and would fly us back on 1/2/2007. I told the Dr. that I wanted you to be home with me.  I was so torn. I had not spent a holiday with him in years. Probably since before I had you. I feel like I was so selfish. I never believed you were so sick. I thought you would be okay. I asked you to wait for me. That I would be back in a week. Daddy stayed with you until 12/29 and then Norm your sitter came 3 times a day to give you your medicine and make sure you were fed. I called to check on you every day. Norm said you looked good and he didn’t have to coax you to eat. When he came to see you guys on New Years Day morning you were not waiting at the door for him or on your chair (my chair either or under the table). He said that you were asleep on my bed when he left 12/31 evening. (He said he spent extra time with you). He couldn’t find you on Monday morning but when he came in Sweet Pea and Tigger were just looking at him like something was wrong. Bunny was hiding. Norm found you under my bed. Ellie, he called be at 9:00 am on New Years Day. (WTF!) I was sound asleep. Either Matthew or Samantha heard my cell phone and answered. It was Norm and they asked if they could give me a message and he just asked for me to call him back. I jumped up out of bed (he would never call if something wasn’t wrong) and told me you didn’t make it through the night. I just said “NO…NO…NO…I don’t understand!” Ellie, I was coming back the next day! Did you think I wasn’t coming back?  Did you just give up waiting for me? I could’ve held your little body next to mine one more time. I never saw you again my little Ellie Belly. Norm took you to the emergency center since it was New Years Day and your Drs Office was not open. They put you in a box and stuck you in the freezer. I am so sorry Ellie. I would never have left you if I knew you were only going to live another 5 days! I am so sad. My heart is broken. I cry all of the time. It hurts so much that you were alone when you died. I was always with you and I wasn’t there for you. It hurts to breath. My heart aches and I just want to see your little face. You had the biggest eyes and the silkiest fur. I loved to kiss your little head and skinny body.



I had a dream about you the night I came home. I dreamt that you came back to me. Not to live but to be with me while you died. I held you and you laid down. I watched your belly stop rising and falling. I would say “Ellie! Wake Up!”  And you would breathe again. You looked at me and I thought you were Samantha (but I knew it was you). I tried to get you to the emergency room. I didn’t think they would save you but give you more medicine so it would be easier for you.