Jordan was my first dog. I got her when I was 13, I am now 29. She was not only special to me but also to my whole family. No-matter what happened my Norney was always there.
She was always so excited to see us when we would come home. Everyday after school she would be waiting for me at the window, but I could not pet her right away because she would piddle from being so excited. So I would wait a few minutes then go over and give her attention. She knew it too, she would try to not look at me for a while until she knew she could handle herself then when she was ready she would come over for me to pet her. She eventually grew out of it but it is such a sweet memory knowing how happy she was just to see me.
She was the best dog I could have EVER asked for! She never chewed things up or did any of those puppy habits. She was a wonderful dog. She went through all my moves from apartments to my house and eventually to my fiance's home where we live now. She was there though thick and thin and having her around was just comforting knowing someone else was there. Now, I am at one of the best parts of my life, 10 months away from marrying the man of my dreams and my life long pet can no longer continue with me. It may sound crazy but I feel like she stayed with me until she knew I would be taken care of. You just don't hear of many dogs living to the age of 16!!! She has been having a lot of problems, the past 2 winters her hips had been giving out when she went outside to potty and I would have to run out and carry her in. She was pacing all night throught the house, she could not see well at all and had even more trouble hearing us. She was not able to hold her bladder for any continuous period of time, some days it would be 3 hours some days 50 minutes. She had run off a few times when I left her outside which is not like her at all and when we would find her she would run away from us. I believe she ran because she could not see or hear us well enough to know who we were. She even nipped at us twice when picking her up outside after finding her to bring her home, which was also so unlike her! But once we got close enough to her and let her sniff us she realized who we were she and would walk with us back to the house I had made the decision about a week and a half ago to let her go, but I just couldn't so I cancelled the appointment at the vet. Things just continued to get worse and we re-scheduled this week. It was the HARDEST thing I have EVER done in my life! But now at home with it so quite without her I feel like the worst is still to come.
Sometimes I hear a noise and think it's her, or I think to myself, Jordan will be coming out here anytime to see what's going on. I knew it would be hard but never like this. The vet said in her opinion I needed to do this and that it was the right decision but I just feel like I should have waited. I wonder if it would have been easier for her to go on her own, which is what I wanted so badly. I did not want to make that choice, but I could not think of seeing her suffering though the hip problems again this winter or running into the road with how poor her eye sight and hearing was and getting hit. Everyone says it will just take time but I feel like not all things can be healed with time, they just remain the same I may not cry as often after a while, but there will be things that will remind me of her and it will all come back like it was yesterday.
I hope she is happy now, all healed up and waiting for me. Maybe she will be so excited to see me she will piddle a bit, next time I won't take the time to wait to love on her.