My dear, sweet, gentle Lacey...my shooting star,



I guess it must be true...when it sounds too good to be true, it can't be.  I brought you home and even before going into the house, we went on our first walk, I couldn’t believe my luck.  You almost didn't need any direction staying right by my side, I knew very soon the leash wouldn't even be necessary.  At the shelter they thought you were about nine months old and the way your long puppy legs would occasionally trip you up, it sounded about right.  The way you adopted the kitties yourself, so gently carrying them around in your mouth, like you thought you were their mother, I knew I had made the right choice.  I kept asking you what you thought, were you happy here with me?  You just looked up at me with those sharp, sparkling eyes almost with a smile on your face.  You came to me July 13th, 2005 and wanted nothing more than to be next to me. 



I built you a warm house, with a window so you could keep an eye on the chipmunks you were obsessed with, still expecting you to emerge with your morning stretch so I can say "Good morning Baby!".  I would pick up 10,000 burrs that you somehow always seemed to conceal from brushing to discreetly deposit in the house, to hug you again.  I would buy 1,000 pounds of kitten food that you cleverly stole to be able to feel the soft fur under your ears again.  I would scrub 100 'accidents' in the house, just to get one more 'high-five' from you.  Sometimes you couldn't contain your exuberance.  If just once more, I could watch you glide through the orchard in wide circles when I'd raise my arms and say "Run! Run!", your long, black, silky hair flowing behind you, I would make a deal with the devil.  All I do is walk around outside looking for your footprints, being careful not to step on those I find, thinking I may discover a new one I hadn't seen before to somehow convince me you really were here.  I can't seem to wash your nose prints off the windows even though I begged you not to make them as you watched the kitties play inside.  I'm glad they're there now.  The night after you left, I dreamt you had gotten yourself locked in the laundry shed.  I can remember the joy and relief I felt when I realized it was really all a nightmare and you really hadn't gone, almost getting up in the middle of the night to go check.  Never before has a four legged companion made such an impact on my life.



I don't know what you ate that day.  I don't know when you found it, you were almost never out of my sight or away from my side.  Why wasn't I able to distract you, call you, even yell at you that instance, just before you picked up whatever it was?  They say there's a reason for everything, but for the life of me I can't comprehend a possible explanation for this.  Maybe someday I'll know.



Lacey, you always forgave me for leaving you.  You never held a grudge when I told you "no, it wasn't dinner time yet.".  Please forgive me now for a few more things.  I'm sorry, I wasn't there at the vet the last day.  I just couldn't.  I knew it would be more upsetting for you to see me in such a mess, I don't know I would have even been able to drive there.  Forgive me for not wanting to see you have to go through endless dialysis treatments without any guarantee of their effectiveness.  That wasn't you.  I am so sorry I wasn't able to protect you from yourself.  On November 17th, 2005, only four months and four days after you brought such joy to my life, you're job here was done.



There are no more bargains I can make.  I must let you go...so go now "Run! Run!", but know as I know you will never leave my heart and I will always remember my sweet, shooting star.



I Love You,

Al