More than 13 years ago, I became a Cat Mama for the very first time. Tiger Lily was a tiny, beautiful, crooked tailed, blue and cross-eyed, strong willed creature who would never, ever be tame, thank you very much. And she was definitely not interested in having anyone telling her what to do. EVER. She also didn't particularly care for other cats, except for Koe whom she adored. And she was beyond indignant about the endless stream of rescues that the Universe sent our way. 

She was, however, a great lover of her dogs: Rufio, Daisy and Huckleberry. I remember the day we stopped being able to leave anything on the kitchen counter. We had a huge steak defrosting way at the back of the counter, impossibly out of reach for Rufio, but that didn't stop Tiger. She pushed and pulled that steak across the counter and just as I walked in, over the edge of the counter it went, down to her big brother Rufio patiently waiting. To say I was proud of such team work, is an understatement. When Daisy was a baby, Tiger claimed her as her own. They had team work down to an art form. I'd come home from work several times with the living room covered in toilet paper confetti and for the life of me couldn't figure out how Daisy was getting ahold of the toilet paper. Daisy couldn't get passed the safety gate to climb the stairs to the upstairs bathroom and not a roll was missing from the downstairs one. Until I caught them. Just as I came home one day, Tiger Lily was coming down the stairs with a full roll of toilet paper in her mouth, Daisy waiting at the bottom of the stairs to do her part. Again, I beg of you, how could I not be proud? 

I have so many stories, a lifetime of memories, her life time. I learned so much. I learned that it was her life to lead, not mine. We humans tend to treat animals as an extension of ourselves, my dog, my cat. And while I'm a big fan of claiming my right as their person. It's not really true; animals are individuals, each with their own purpose for being, their own preferences, their own personality. They are the lead character in the movie of their own lives. And as a human you are very, very lucky if you get chosen to be the main supporting character in their life. Tiger Lily's purpose was to be as fierce a feline as she could be. She reveled in it: autonomous and wild, a tiny ruler of big dogs. As a side gig, I believe she was also here to educate me, but only like 2 to 3 hours per week tops. But despite her quest for independence, I was her Mama, and she accepted that I loved her deeply and unconditionally and that I had her back no matter what. And in return she chose to do the same for me. So this morning, when I had to decide to help her cross the Rainbow Bridge, it wasn't a difficult decision. She was ready, her little body spent. And because I'm her Mama, I did what I've always done where Tiger Lily is concerned, I had her back. I made sure she could leave this life as she lived it: fierce and beautiful. Loved until the her last breath.