Priscilla AKA squish wasn't a dog she wasn't a pet she was my baby we where inseparable she would sleep on the bath mat when i had bath she would sit by my feet when i went to the bathroom she was always by my side and no matter what happened to me in life she made everything better she would lick my tears when i cried and would do things to make me laugh when i couldn't even smile she was the most unruly determined dog i ever met with such a huge personality and character she often broke every rule and blamed ted and acted the innocent party when we all knew it was her haha she had health issues from birth but never ever did i imagine losing her the way i did and when i did we where told she would be in a wheel chair by one shes never had one and was running round like a demon til the day she died we where told she would need hardcore sedation to control fits and she didn't have them either and didn't have the need to have them she broke every single rule and every single negative expectation and exceeded every positive one i rescued Priscilla we where unsure of her age but she was so tiny she fit in my hand i weaned her i cared for her she made me loose my mind more times then any one or thing ever lol she was never ment to stay with us she was ment to go to her forever home we found a family that adored her yet i couldn't do it i could not let them take her despite the fact she attacked everyone and thing didn't co operate with training .... like the time she peed on my bed and i called my mum who was in the next room saying is she in there and mum said yea and i said the little bitch just peed on my bed and ran to you cos she knew id tell her off !! or how she made friends with random rocks from the garden and demanded to sleep with them or when she made a full grown man flip backwards over a chair in fear of a 7 kg dog [Adrian] haha everyone in the dog park knew her she would kick off at any and every big dog inc but not limited to husky's German shepherd's Akitas Labradors everyone knew me for the constant shouts of PRISCILLA LONG and constant apologising for her behaviour but everyone loved her even if she did wana fight there dog haha she wasn't silly tho she would kick off run towards a dog and if me and ted wasn't right with her she would stop barking run in a circle round the dog and act like she didn't do a thing she would wind a dog up fully knowing teddy who's a lot bigger would protect her and he always did when she was a baby if i even left a room she would make weird screaming noises till i came back i was up every 2 to 4 hours with her on and off through her life from weaning her when she was so tiny to taking her in and outside when she was poorly or for medications Priscilla taught me so many things in life like unconditional love and how utterly selfless she and i could be for one another when i adopted Priscilla i was a drug addict and alcoholic when my addiction started to affect there life and routine i stopped and have been sober 2,5 years so what people sometimes don't realise is that yes i saved her life but she saved my life every single day she was alive squish was her main nickname because she was so bloody adorable i wanted to squish her all the time i loved every fur baby i have ever had but i never had one need me as much as she did and that made our bond so much stronger everyone who knows me knows she and ted had there own huge memory foam bed and room with a toy box and yet i would miss them to much to make them sleep in there i fell asleep almost every night for over four years holding and hugging squish her snoring always helped me sleep yet when a ex snored i wanted to murder them but hers where adorable :) Priscilla was clearly here for a good time and not a long time she did so much stuff that dogs don't have or get to enjoy yes i took her to the mall to meet Santa yes i took her to a pug cafe and to exclusive pug partys she had her own wardrobe and jewelry and every single toy made for dogs she had it she had her toy box and home made biscuits and birthday cakes every year ginger bread men at Christmas and more everyone's seen the photos of my house Christmas morning the whole floor was covered in toys for the dogs and cat they had a birthday party's to and where very loved yet il always feel i should of done more i never knew i could ever EVER experience this level of grieve and pain in my life it physically hurts ive cried a ocean of tears and the only thing keeping me here is teddy and pogo who are also grieving we lost the baby of the pac everyone loved her even those who never met her she was always on my social medias she died so unexpectedly and in true Priscilla style she made the decisions it was all on her terms i didn't make one choice and i believe that was her final act of selfless love to make sure i didn't suffer or have to make the decision of letting her go she was rushed to a vets Sunday was stable for 48 hours came home Tuesday at 1130 am and died at 1134 pm its mine and the vets and my family's belief she held on to come home and spend one last day with us all and then she knew she was safe and loved and could leave us I'm still in utter shock and feel utter despair as i type this i can barely see cos i cant stop sobbing and didn't ever see myself typing this and not this soon everyone who knew me knew i always said i hope i go first cos i couldn't live through losing them the house is so quiet and my heart so broken and i know nothing or no one can make that okay or better in any way {im very grateful for all the support my family have given and shown and the very few people ive told } Priscilla was my twin she had every single personality trait i did which was hilarious cos i couldn't even be mad at her when she was doing something and then gave me a full on grin like yea i ate all the blue berries and what with a actual grin on her face !!! when i was telling her how naughty she was !! Priscilla stomped through this world and left her tiny paw print etched in our hearts and minds forever and i will be forever grateful that she appeared in my life and everyone's and that i had the honour and joy and heart break even of being her mum i will love her forever and i know when i die shes going to be waiting for me and give me that look where shes like mum did you bring any snackys :) thank you squish for the 4 years of selfless unconditional love and for saving my life and making me in to the woman i am now i will always love and adore you your still a part of me and always will be i love you so so much your so bootiful so bootiful and i hope that your still running round acting like a little demon eating berry licious snackys and not having baths and forever being our baby stinks and stinky winky we will always be babes and stinky girls including nana we miss you we adore you we love you silly