About half a year ago I wanted a bird because I wasn’t doing well and thought that having an animal by me would help me abit more. When i got Gucci I had to get two birds so I got two. I brought them home and I noticed I was gettin stressed but I still took care of them in every way I could. Gucci was very shy at first but started to trust me more. Yesterday she died I didn’t know what to think I wanted to throw my phone and watch it break shave my head and I also wanted to know how I thought of every possibility was it because of this or that. If I knew I wouldn’t blame anyone but I just wanted to know. It feels so unreal and while I’m not blaming myself. Completing because I heard them chirping very loud before I was going to check I’m going to do my best for Miko. I feel so numb again though. I know she would want best for me but I feel like if I smile it wouldn’t be right I do think I can for awhile but I miss her a lot.