I thought I was picking up a kitten for my ex husband. But when I arrived, that kitten wanted nothing to do with me and this tiny little grey ball of fur climbed onto my leg, curled up, and fell asleep. Her human at the time said she trusted me with the tiny little runt that she didn't even post online. I couldn't say no, my heart had entirely melted. 



I tried to pretend still that she hadn't just swept me off my feet. But the way she cried out in her carrier broke me. I stuck my finger in the carrier to try to offer some comfort as I talked to her on the way home. She wanted nothing to do with my gentle words, she bt the hell out of my finger. My heart melted even further. I could tell she was going to be a sassy little thing. I still tried to pretend she wasn't mine. I had a rule of "okay but no cats on the bed." Needless to say, she slept in my bed the very first night and every night after that. She curled herself up on my elbow and I finally admitted to myself that I was not a "crazy cat lady."



Her first vet visit for her vaccines, she cried and cried and cried. And in turn, I cried and cried and cried. I remember wiping my tears and telling my sister n law "wow, if this vet visit wrecked me, I don't even want to know what kind of mess I'll be when she really gets sick." And wow, I was right. My heart is so unbelievably heavy right now. 



For a good 3 years out of the 9 I've had her, due to some living situations, she literally lived in a closed bedroom with me. She never had any real coomplaint about this as they were always big spacious rooms and as long as I was with her, she was happy to be curled up against me and have a space that was all hers. 



When she was tiny little kitten still, I had so many sleepless nights as she was a Fierce Hunter and my fingers and toes sticking out from a blanket were the perfect prey to pounce on. I often found myself up at 4am moving a laser light around the room. I always tired out long before her. Even to her very last days, she would chase that laser light long past her brothers. I loved seeing her light up, chirp, and pounce all over the place.



Since then, she has moved across the country with me and kept me sane through a particularly nasty divorce. I remember yelling at my ex in the lawyer's office because he was adamant that he keep her. I would have died before I parted with her. She was and is still my heart.



Her human before me told me "be careful, she doesn't know the difference between fingers and food. So always wash your hands, because she'll bite you." I almost never did, her little bites always made me smile. I loved how voracious she was for people-food her whole life.



The day she got fixed, I was so sad to have her away from me that I went to a local shelter and adopted two babies. Her first brothers, both special needs in their own way. She beat them up real good for a couple weeks, and then turned into "momma cat." One of the kitties has extreme PTSD and eventually when he would walk around the house crying, she would find him (every time) and give him a bath or cuddle with him. Seeing him now realize that she's not around both breaks my heart and lifts me up.



Jazmine saw me through the worst parts of my life and I'll always be grateful for the ways she changed me. 



My sassy girl who loved pens/pencils, who loved sitting on my laptop.... who loved salmon more than she loved heated blankets. 

My pretty princess who would pick play-fights with her brothers and then dramatically "scream" if they returned her sassiness. 

My sweet girl who only gave me kisses a couple times a year. 

My "food wh0re" who sat between her adopted Dad & I every night for the last 4 years to beg for our food. This fluffy thing who seemed to have no survival instinct in the kitchen....would somehow manage to wrap her floofy little body around our feet when we were cooking.



A couple of years ago, I had the wonderful opportunity to have an amazing friend as a roommate. But before he was my roommate, I remember a time where he was my ride home at the end of a long day. He was also a crazy cat dude, but lived with someone who was massively allergic to cats. I kept my roommate's dogs busy while he went upstairs to hang out with Jazmine for a long while. I know she loved the attention and she made a forever friend. It warmed my heart when we lived together and I would see her on the couch with him or hanging out in his bedroom. The more humans to dote on her, the better. 



I'm so thankful to my current partner for all the love he poured out on her the 4 years we have been together. I call him an "old person at heart" with "big Old Man energy" and it was a perfect match for my tiny little Old Lady. He is nearly always asleep by midnight and most nights I would find her asleep next to him on my pillow or curled up on his stomach if he was a side sleeper that night. I have so many sweet photos of them curled up next to each other. And seeing her + her brother's slowly turn him into a Cat Person as well fills my heart with joy. He does it all.....  puts up with his disdain of stinky wet food and helps me prepare their even stinkier raw food, scoops the litter boxes, plays with them, cuddles up with them all and so much more. I can't think of anyone better to love these fir babies with me.





I'm going to hear her little "chirps" for the rest of my life. I'm going to see her out of the corner of my eyes until I cross that bridge to be with her again.



I'm so thankful she chose me. Her love changed me in ways that I can't describe. She taught me how to care for something so tiny, how to love fiercly, how to fight for those I love.



Thanks to her,  I have 4 sweet babies and have fostered many more. Thanks to her, I was moved to volunteer in a shelter and find loving forever homes for even more sweet things. I hope she knows how many lives SHE changed.



Up until very recently, I only had 3 other fur babies. But about a month ago, I came into posession of a sweet foster kitty. I have been diligently trying to find his forever home. But the night before my princess passed suddenly, it was time for all the kitties to finally meet. She had been pretty curious about him this whole month. She lightly hissed at him when he got just a bit too curious about him, but she stayed closed and sniffed at i'm and just watched. I could tell that eventually, they were going to be the best of friends.



The night she passed, I knew in my bones that he was now MY kitty and that I had her blessing. It's been almost a week since she passed, and I finally got brave enough to ask his forever home if it would be alright if I kept him. And thus...... I have a sweet baby who already feels right at home. I can feel in my heart that had she lived longer, I would have seen them cuddle. They're both so affectionate. I firmly believe now that he didn't just accidentally come into my life. I know in my heart that she brought him to me. The timing is too uncanncy. I also realized tonight that they both have the same 5-stripe markings on their foreheads. And all 5 stripes are positioned the exact same way.



Saying goodbye to her felt like I was ripping my own heart out of my chest. And I don't know if that feeling will ever go away. But in the last week, thanks to loved ones sharing fond memories, Facebook Memories, and all the love I've recieved from friends and family.... it's been easier to focus on all the love she had to give and all the lessons she was put in my life to teach me. And though she's no longer physically with me, I know the lessons aren't over yet.



I just received her ashes today and a little plaque that has tufts of her fur mounted on the plaque. Being able to pet her soft, fuzzy fur once again was a gift I didn't know how much I needed until it was happening.



Thank you for 9 beautiful years, Jazmine. I hope you're chasing all the boys and getting the good naps in the afterlife. I can't wait until I see you again.