{"id":233,"date":"2024-10-27T14:00:00","date_gmt":"2024-10-27T18:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.ilovedmypet.com\/blog\/?p=233"},"modified":"2026-06-09T14:23:11","modified_gmt":"2026-06-09T18:23:11","slug":"what-it-feels-like-to-lose-a-pet","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.ilovedmypet.com\/blog\/what-it-feels-like-to-lose-a-pet\/","title":{"rendered":"What It Feels Like to Lose a Pet: Understanding Pet Loss Grief"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

Originally published: December 17, 2019 | Last updated: October 27, 2024<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n

TL;DR<\/h2>\n\n\n\n
Losing a pet feels like losing a family member. Common experiences include profound sadness, feeling a physical absence in your home, disrupted daily routines, difficulty sleeping, loss of appetite, guilt about decisions made, and a sense that others do not fully understand your pain. These feelings are normal and valid.<\/p>\n<\/div><\/section>\n\n\n\n
This is a letter we received from a memorial owner at ILovedMyPet.com. We thought it might be helpful to some people if we were to share it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Polly\u2019s Song<\/h2>\n\n\n\n
By Apara Mahal Sylvester<\/p>\n\n\n\n

January 2000<\/h3>\n\n\n\n
I had moved to Germany from China and I had Zhangy,
\nmy cat from China. I wanted a companion for him so I went to the animal
\nshelter to find one. It was there that I first saw her. She had one eye
\nand when I questioned the shelter worker about her missing eye she told me that
\nsomething had been wrong with it so it had been removed. I couldn\u2019t bear
\nthe thought of her being overlooked because of her one eye so I decided that
\nshe was the cat I was going to take. She was about 6 months old.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Her name was Polly.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
$\"\"$
Photo by Manja Vitolic<\/a> on Unsplash<\/a><\/figcaption><\/figure>\n\n\n\n
I brought Polly home in a carrier, and placed her on
\nthe floor in the kitchen. Zhangy came to sniff her, and she hissed at him.
\nHe seemed interested in her for a few minutes, then he retreated to the
\nbedroom. <\/p>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n
I let Polly out of her carrier and she started to
\nexplore her new home while Zhangy stayed away. After a while I decided I
\nwas going to fix the situation. At this point Polly was under the
\nbed. I picked up Zhangy, shoved him under the bed, and said \u201cYou are
\ngoing to be friends!\u201d and I waited\u2026.and waited\u2026.with baited breath.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I can\u2019t remember who came out from under the
\nbed first. I can\u2019t remember who went behind the curtain first, who went
\nafter who, and who began the game of hide and seek but I clearly remember
\nplaytime had begun!<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Later on, I felt very left out, because Polly and
\nZhangy were playing together and no one was playing with me. Little
\nZhangy became Polly\u2019s soulmate at that very moment.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
10 July 2018<\/h3>\n\n\n\n
My Dearest Little Polly,<\/p>\n\n\n\n
It has been two days now since we lost you. The
\ntears have stopped flowing from our eyes, but our hearts still cry for
\nyou. We feel better, but we just won\u2019t feel right until you are home with
\nus again. Your ashes will be home on Thursday, and Daddy has made a place
\nfor you on the shelf right next to Zhangy so that you will be together
\nagain. Grandpa brought over two electric candles, one for your bed and
\none for your spot on the shelf. We are preparing for your homecoming.
\nUntil then, we have a big void, because you are not there.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I don\u2019t know when I will be able to smile again from
\nmy face and heart. I had been smiling from my heart ever since I got my
\nnew job. That smile is gone, for now, but it\u2019s ok. I will allow
\nmyself to grieve for you as long as it takes.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Sunday, your last day on earth, was bright warm and
\nsunny. Every day since has been bright, warm and sunny; God\u2019s light
\nshining onto the world and giving us a glimpse of his paradise, the paradise
\nwhich now you are a part of.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Zhangy\u2019s death 8 years ago was hard, but your death
\nwas harder and I can\u2019t figure out why other than you were the girl cat, near
\nand dear to all our hearts. You were the \u201cwinky cat\u201d as the neighbors who
\nsaw you in the window would call you. To Daddy, you were Polly Girl, and
\nI am having \u201cPolly Girl\u201d inscribed on the nameplate for your urn.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
When you come home on Thursday, your homecoming will
\nalso be a home going. We will rejoice your life, and mourn your death no
\nmore. This I promise you my little Polly. I will sing our special
\nsong, that I sang to you even after you went deaf; \u201cOh where oh where can my
\nPolly be? Oh where oh where can she be? With her fur so soft and
\nher face so cute. Oh where oh where can she be.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I can close my eyes and picture you, coming to me
\nfrom wherever you were, whenever you heard that song. You knew it was
\nspecial, just for you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Grandpa thought it best that Daddy, alone, go and
\npick you up. I think the time alone with
\nyou will be good for him. I loved you,
\nbut he loved you the most. It\u2019s only
\nright that he be the one to bring you home.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Daddy says no one cares, but I know this isn\u2019t
\ntrue. While some people may brush it off, because they have never felt
\nthe love of an animal, others grieve with us. I write, and I
\nmemorialize you in words because I care, and Daddy and I caring are all that
\nmatters.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
You were not just a cat. You were a member of
\nour family and our baby for 18.5 years. In my book I have a whole chapter
\ndedicated to Zhangy. Should I publish another book, there will be a
\nchapter for you, because your 18.5 years of life had meaning. Your story
\ndeserves to be heard. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Eulogy<\/h2>\n\n\n\n
Polly Mahal
\nSylvester<\/p>\n\n\n\n
2000 \u2013 2018<\/p>\n\n\n\n
To Our Sweet Little Girl Polly,<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Sunday we said goodbye to you, goodbye to your
\nlife in the physical world.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
It broke our hearts to see you go, because you
\nmade our hearts complete. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
We knew your time in this world was over, and
\nwe did the honorable act of sending you to heaven to be with your beloved
\nZhangy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Now your ashes are home with us.
\nHowever, your ashes are only a remembrance of the physical. In fact, your
\nspirit never left us.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
One of the last things I told you was that you
\nwill be seeing Zhangy. When you crossed over, oh how happy you must have
\nbeen to see him, and how ecstatic he was to see you, his beloved little
\nsoulmate. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Though we loved you very, very much, Zhangy
\nand God loved you even more and it was Zhangy who asked God to call you home to
\nbe with him.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I have 18.5 years of memories with you and
\nDaddy has 8 years. You were such a joy to have in our lives\u2026..the kitty
\nwith the small head big heart. You loved being a \u201ccomfort kitty\u201d always
\nnext to us when we needed you. Your meow echoing through the house will
\nbe sorely missed. Now all we have are beautiful and wonderful memories of
\nyou, our beautiful little girl.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
We will miss your sweet little meow. I
\nwill miss how you loved to bite on my bracelets and daddy will miss how you
\nliked playing with his cross necklace. All the little things which made
\nyou, you, will not be forgotten.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
From this day on we will shed no more
\ntears. We will celebrate your life and your ascension into paradise and
\nreunion with Zhangy. We will hold dear and cherish all of the memories
\nfor all our days until the day comes when we will see you again.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Rest well little one. Your job here is
\nover and you did it well. Thank you for all the joy you brought us.
\nIt was a privilege to have had you in our lives.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Now you live in our hearts, and we will
\nforever love you\u2026\u2026\u2026..<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Epilogue<\/h2>\n\n\n\n
When we left the vet\u2019s office, after saying
\nour final goodbye, we got in the car and turned on the radio. A song by Madonna was playing. I cannot recall which song it was. To this day, when I hear a Madonna song, I
\nthink of our Polly. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
They all are Polly\u2019s song.<\/p>\n\n\n\n